


I Understand

by RegicidalRavens



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Career Ending Injuries, Don't worry, Drabble, F/M, Fluff, Haikyuu - Freeform, Just being stupid, Volleyball, he's fine, injuries, soft, soft tooru, volleyball idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-12-26 12:18:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18282257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RegicidalRavens/pseuds/RegicidalRavens
Summary: After years of being friends with Iwaizumi and Oikawa, you couldn't sit by the side and continue to watch Tooru go on with his self destructive tendencies. It was time for you to finally step in and tell him to shut the fuck up and stop bitching for a bit.





	I Understand

**Author's Note:**

> word count: 1749  
> mentions of: oikawa tooru's knee injury

The three of you were the best of friends. Oikawa and Iwaizumi had been best friends since just about forever. You joined and made it a trio when you transferred to Aobajōsai in your first year of high school. But not even the lack of a past was able to keep you from becoming a sister to the two boys.

Your first week of school you discovered that Oikawa was a persistent and annoying piece of trash, for you were (un)fortunate enough to have the same homeroom as him. When you asked around for where the boys’ volleyball club could be found, you’d discovered that he was also (unfortunately) on the team. Despite his constant “(l/n)-chan (l/n)-chan!!!” you went ahead and became the manager for the team.

There at the club was also where you had met Iwaizumi, and well, let’s say you two hit it off immediately. Iwaizumi saw that you felt the same love-hate towards Oikawa as he did, and spent a lot of time making fun of the Grand King with you.

First year passed in a blur of a whirlwind, all the work and efforts of the past year seemingly increasing as you entered your second year. You were still the boys’ manager, but as everyone got more busy, Oikawa also began to stay behind later and later. Iwaizumi often left you in charge of Oikawa when the brunet continued to practice alone in the gym.

Second year gone, and the three of your were entering the third year. The harsh self-training Oikawa endured through the duration of the second year wasn’t enough to satisfy him. Sure, he became the captain, but all those things meant nothing unless he was able to take damn _Shiratorizawa_ and _Ushijima_ down. And thus, his self-training grew even more rigorous the third year.

You still stuck with them as the manager, and you had the luck to be cursed with Oikawa all three years of homeroom, but Oikawa often spent time away from you and the other boy. By this point, the three of you were only seen together at volleyball practice. If there was free time during the day, Oikawa would often go to the gym on his own to practice while you and Iwaizumi would talk and help each other with school work. You still watched over him when he stayed behind for extra practice, but he wore himself out too much, and it began to increasingly worry you.

Your worries were officially confirmed when you were once waiting for him to change. He was taking much longer than usual, but when you had gone to check on him, you saw him broken down on the floor sobbing. Despite that, you continued to watch him and stayed silent, as he slowly, gradually, became more and more of a stranger to you.

It was another one of those days where the rest of the volleyball team had already changed and left, and Iwaizumi had put you in charge of Oikawa yet again. Four hours had already passed _in addition_ to the two hours the team spent practicing together.

You watched him continuously slam the volleyballs from one end of the court to the other with an echoing ‘BAM!’ It was three hours in when you began to notice his control was a bit off, and a few balls out stray outside the court boundaries. Three hours and fifteen minutes in, your eyes narrowed a bit at Oikawa when you saw him stumble a bit to grab another volleyball.

“Tooru. You should stop now.”

He jolted a bit at your voice, as if noticing for the first time that you were still there. He turned to you with that goddamned smiling mask of his. “I’ll be fine (f/n)-chan! Just a little bit more.”

You grunted a bit, as if acknowledging his statement.

Watching him for another forty-five minutes, it was finally the fourth hour. You glared at him when his jump serve hit the net. And not just the top band of the net either, the actual netting portion of the net.

You were concerned. _He isn’t jumping high enough anymore. His knee is going to give out soon._

“Tooru. You need to stop now.”

“(f/n)-chaaaan! I told you that I’ll be fine!”

“Oikawa Tooru. Stop now,” you demanded, becoming tired of watching him hurt himself more and more.

The fake smile was off his face in an instant.

“(f/n). Please. Don’t try to stop me. I’m so close right now. I’m _so_ close.”

“Tooru. You’re going to end up hurting yourself.”

It was silent, until Oikawa finally let out everything he had inside his heart.

“Stop trying to understand me. You don’t understand me. NO ONE understands me. And no one ever will! Do you think I want to lose? No! Of course not! I need to keep getting stronger, I need to be the best, I can’t let the whole team down. What kind of captain would I be, who am I to be the reason everyone else also suffers and loses?”

“Do you know how difficult it is to give it your all and still find yourself falling short? No. Of course not. You would NEVER understand me!!!! I can do better, I need to become stronger. I NEED TO BE BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, (F/N)! YOU NEVER HAD TO BE THE REASON THE TEAM LOST!!! SO DON’T YOU DARE TELL ME TO STOP NOW!!!!!”

Oikawa huffed, finishing his rant and turning away from you and picking up another volleyball.

“You think that I can’t understand?”

He turned to you and scoffed. “Don’t even try to. I never wanted a pity party.”

You stood and stomped up to him, and easily slapped the volleyball out of his hands.

When Oikawa tried to glare down at you, he found himself trying to escape and shrink away from your furious burning gaze.

“You think I really can’t fucking understand, huh?” you laughed at your own words. Oikawa froze, terrified at what onslaught of words he could have caused. “Hey, Tooru, ever wondered why I never joined a volleyball team myself?” you suddenly asked as you walked over to a stray volleyball and picked it up, tossing it a few times to get a good feel for it.

“Uh, well, err… no. Not really…”

“Well, I used to play you know,” you paused and took place at the end of the court, just by where Oikawa stood. You tossed the ball, and jump served it right over the net. It might’ve looked like it hit out, but to both of your trained eyes, it was clearly within the corner of the court. “I used to play during junior high.”

“Then why don’t you still play?” Oikawa asked softly, trying to approach you with cautious words.

“Well, let me finish. We were one of the best in the prefecture. But we always landed in second place. _Always_ damn second. We always lost to the Niiyama Girls’ Junior High team.”

Oikawa knew Niiyama. There was hardly a person in the volleyball world who hadn’t heard of Niiyama.

“The middle of second year, I thought to myself, ‘you know, I should really improve. I need to be stronger for the team. We can’t lose again because of me.’ and you know. All of the stuff. The Spring Interhigh for second year, we won one set against them, but we still lost.”

Oikawa was slowly beginning to understand your story. It was like he was listening to someone narrating his own life.

“That summer, and the first half of third year, I constantly stayed behind for practice, and I would go home at 11 PM sometimes. Yeah, heh, I was pretty insane. You’re really lucky, Tooru.”

He raised a brow at your words, wondering in what way he could possibly be _lucky_.

“You’re so naturally talented at volleyball. And you’re a genius too. You’re passionate, well-mannered, funny, good-looking, tall, athletic, smart, and you’ve always had Iwaizumi there for you too. Me… Well, only volleyball was what I was ever good at. Other than that, I was a normal student who always studied and got pretty good grades. But I never really had anyone there to support me and control me. I… I was in the middle of private practice when… when I collapsed. It was the first time my knee gave out.”

You crouched on the floor to continue your story, as if memories of your knee made it hurt for you to keep standing.

“I didn’t tell anyone about it. I just went home for the day and kept on practicing for the rest of the week. The next week during practice… My right knee broke down from overuse and my thumb broke simultaneously. I know it sounds stupid, but I was trying to serve when my knee gave up and I fell forwards and landed on my hand, forcing my thumb all the way back.”

You saw Oikawa wince a little bit when you said that, rubbing at his own thumb as if the pain were fresh in his hand.

“The Spring Interhigh that year… we did the worst our team had ever done. I wasn’t allowed to play volleyball anymore. I couldn’t set, and I had to go through physical therapy the remainder of the year for my knee.”

“Tooru. I understand you. Please. Don’t hurt yourself,” you pleaded one last time, clenching your eyes shut and facing the floor away from him. “It’ll only destroy you. It’ll destroy the whole team. Please. I don’t want the same thing to happen to you.”

“(f-f/n)… I-I…” Oikawa tried to respond to you, tripping over his words instead. “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have said those things to you…”

“Please don’t hurt yourself, Tooru,” you stood up at faced up at the taller boy.

“(f/n)… I promise. I won’t,” he stepped forward to close the gap between you two and allowed you into a warm embrace, a true happy one he hadn’t had in forever. “But if I do, I know you’ll take good care of me (f/n)-chan!”

“You idiot! Don’t say things like that!” you took your hand and slapped his back, _hard_.

“Oww (f/n)-chan! You’re just like Iwa-chan!” the boy complained. “Always telling me not to get hurt and then hitting me!”

**Author's Note:**

> this is actually an old fic and i'm going out and posting a bunch of my old stories so i didn't look over it. hopefully it was still cohesive. lmk if there's anything wrong or if my grammar is just, no.


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